Marriage Family Counseling

Mort Fertel was a featured expert on ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, and the Fox News Network. He is also a frequent guest on talk radio programs. His breakthrough program, Marriage Fitness, appeared in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Family Circle, Psychology Today, Ladies Home Journal, Glamour Magazine, Parent & Child Magazine, Philadelphia Inquirer, Library Journal, Women’s Health, Denver Post, Orlando Sentinel, Baltimore Sun, and Toronto Sun . For more information about Mr. Fertel and the Marriage Family Counseling, go to www.marriagemax.com  

Saving Marriage

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.

Couples Counseling

Will Marriage Fitness work for you?

Marriage Fitness is designed for relationships suffering from:

Infidelity Broken Trust Emotional Neglect Addictive Behaviors Emotional Abuse the Brink of Divorce

Boredom Separation A Stubborn Spouse Emotional Infidelity Silent Treatments No Sex

Poor Communication No Affection Lack of Appreciation Failed Experiences in Marriage Counseling

If your relationship is suffering from one of these, try couples counseling with the Marriage Fitness program.

Online Marriage Counseling

Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel is a new alternative to counseling that’s saved thousands of marriages. The program has been featured on national TV, in Family Circle, the New York Times, USA Today, and on the Fox News Network.  For more information on online marriage counseling, go to www.marriagemax.com

Free Marriage Counseling

What’s the first step? Subscribe to my FREE marriage help email service. Over 100,000 each year subscribe to receive my free report “7 Secrets for Fixing Your Marriage.” This free email advice alone will begin to change your marriage. And, in addition to sending you regular email counsel, I’ll also send you 5 free marriage assessments and more information about Marriage Fitness!. Go to www.marriagemax.com to sign up for free marriage counseling.

Marriage Problems

Traditional marriage counseling and most relationship books offer problem solving strategies and communication skills. But tackling marriage problems stress-out a relationship and make a bad marriage worse. And did you ever try to communicate when you’re angry? That doesn’t work either.

Marriage Counseling

Marriage Fitness is an innovative step-by-step relationship-changing system that will save and restore your marriage. You’ll learn to neutralize your problems and put into practice a system of positive relationship habits that will shift the momentum of your marriage. And the best news is—you don’t have to dig into your past, dredge up your problems, or practice communication techniques. This is not marriage counseling; it’s Marriage Fitness!

Stop Divorce

Restore your Marriage
Your Marriage And The Miracle Of The Chinese Bamboo Tree
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Do you know what happens after you plant the seed of a Chinese Bamboo Tree?

Nothing.

That’s right. Absolutely nothing.

For 4 years after planting the seed of this tree you get no satisfaction other than a tiny shoot coming out of a bulb. Must be something wrong, right? A still birth or stunted growth. A bad seed maybe.

If you didn’t know about the growth patterns for this tree, you’d think that all your efforts to plant and cultivate were useless.

But, in fact, what’s happening all the time is that underneath the ground there’s a massive root structure that’s forming. You can’t see it, but it’s there and it’s HUGE. Then, if the 5th year, the Chinese Bamboo Tree grows and grows and grows, sometimes up to EIGHTY FEET tall!
Marriages sometimes grow like Chinese Bamboo Trees.

You try and try doing kindnesses, giving gifts, being gentle, sharing a joke, but sometimes it takes months even years before you SEE the growth. But all the while you’re making deposits into a secret account that all of a sudden (that’s the way it seems, but, in fact, my point is that it’s not all of sudden) begins paying dividends.

It takes maturity to be patient. And it takes maturity to be willing to give your spouse the time they need to grow and to see that time as an opportunity for you to grow too.

I’ve been having private sessions with a woman who has been asking her husband to join her at the dinner table for SIX MONTHS. And for 6 months he’s been rejecting her as he takes his dinner into the family room to eat in front of the TV. He was punishing her. He was angry.
For 6 months she took it. Everyday for 6 months she asked him to come to dinner and everyday he said “No.”

One day, unannounced, and for no apparent reason, he said to her while she was fixing dinner in the kitchen, “Can I join you at the table tonight?”

“Yes,” she said, and turned away to wipe her tears.

Did she deserve 6 months of the silent treatment? No one does no matter what the reason. But don’t let anyone tell you to give up.

It’s NEVER too late. Things change. People change.

The question is: 1) How do I learn to be patient? 2) What EXACTLY can I do in my marriage that will build that root structure and lead to a BREAKTHROUGH with my spouse?

I’ll be answering those 2 questions in depth as well as offering literally hundreds of other practices and principles in the next Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp. I

f you’re serious about saving and restoring your marriage, there’s no reason NOT to do this program. It’s gtd (see web site for details), convenient (you don’t have to go anywhere – all you need is a telephone), and it’s proven to work. And if your spouse won’t do it with you, don’t worry about it, there’s a LONE RANGER TRACK designed specifically for you that’ll teach you how to single handedly change your situation AND motivate your spouse to join you in the marriage renewal process.

For details or to register, go to http://www.MortFertel.com/tele-boot-camp.asp

If you can’t wait until the next boot camp begins or if you don’t have 7 weeks to turn things around, then order… MARRIAGE FITNESS HOME-FLEX A 9-Phase interactive multi-sensory relationship-changing self-guided system that gives you everything you need to transform your marriage. And the best news is . . . you get it all tomorrow! For more information or to order, go to: http://www.MortFertel.com/home-flex.asp

Depending on your circumstances, you may also benefit from private sessions. I do phone sessions and full-day intensive “house calls.” For more information, go to: http://www.MortFertel.com/marriage-coaching.asp

If you need help with your marriage, at the very least get yourself the MARRIAGE FITNESS AUDIO LEARNING PROGRAM. It’s a 5 CD audio listening program that you’ll find to be an invaluable guide to renewing your marriage…and more fun than visiting a marriage counselor. If you don’t have it, then you can’t be serious about fixing your situation. For more info or to order, go to: http://www.MortFertel.com/audio-program.asp

Lastly, if you prefer to use someone else, feel free to ask me and I’d be happy to refer you to other competent resources.

Don’t you dare give up. Be patient. Be a light; not a judge. And in the meantime, remember the miracle of the Chinese Bamboo Tree.

Warm regards,
Mort Fertel, Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

SIGN UP FREE TODAY AND TO STOP DIVORCE!

Free Marriage Help

KNOCK 3 TIMES ON THE CEILING IF YOU CAN HEAR MERecently I had a series of private phone sessions with a person who was very frustrated. Listen to how this person described their situation. I bet you’ll be able to relate to it.

This person said they felt trapped in their basement trying to communicate with their spouse via Morse Code. They said they were banging on the pipes trying desperately to be heard. They would bang on the pipes and wait for a response. Bang and wait…bang and wait…bang and wait. But each time they finished banging, there was silence. No matter how hard they banged and no matter how long they waited; their spouse never heard them.

Are you trying to get heard? Do you feel ignored? Is your spouse not responding to your communication?

We live in an interesting time. With one click, you can communicate with anyone in the world. It’s easy, quick, and free. You even have options. If you don’t want to click, you could dial, beep, page, instant-message, or Fed Ex. It’s true. Your ability to communicate with the outside world has become increasingly easy. But my guess is that your ability to communicate with your spouse has become increasingly difficult.

The reason for this is that most people confuse INFORMATION communication with PERSONAL communication. Technological advancements give us all sorts of options to communicate information. But how do you feel the pulse of someone’s soul? How do you communicate the subtleties in your heart? You can’t text message that. You can have the latest and greatest in communication gadgets, but it won’t matter. PERSONAL communication is a whole different ball game. And it’s PERSONAL communication that determines the success or failure of your marriage.

I’m reminded of a scene from a Broadway play. A man and woman happen to meet on a train and engage in polite conversation. They were both headed home to New York after a day in New Haven, CT. After further discussion, they learned that they were going to the same building on Fifth Avenue. Lo and behold they discovered that they had the same daughter and lived in the same apartment. They finally discovered that they were husband and wife.

You know what’s killing marriages these days? EMAIL! More and more I’m seeing husbands and wives resort to email to communicate with each other. You want to do something tangible TODAY to improve your marriage? STOP EMAILING YOUR SPOUSE! Email is for INFORMATION. But in a marriage you’ve got to HEAR each other. And I don’t mean hear the sounds of each other’s words. You’ve got to be able to hear the silence between the sounds and interpret the unspoken meaning of pressed lips or teary eyes. You’ve got to be able to hear the shapes and sounds in each other’s heart. You can NOT accomplish this via email.

Let me be clear about something; you can’t do it with communication techniques either. There’s no clinical communication therapy that can help you and your spouse think each other’s thoughts, feel each other joy, and cringe from each other’s pain. My 1-on-1 phone session schedule and the Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp are filled with casualties from traditional communication strategies and the usual marriage counseling approach. If you’re like most people with marriage trouble, you’ve been down that path and you know that it does NOT work.

Today my 4-year-old son came to me with a bruise on his leg. He was crying and I could see that it was black and blue.

He said, “Daddy, I need a band-aide.”

I responded, “But it’s not bleeding.”

He said again, “Daddy, can you put a band-aide on it?”

I realized that my son’s perspective was that when something hurts a band-aide makes it better…even if it’s a bruise and not a cut.

So what does this have to do with communication in a marriage? Because most people think that if spouses aren’t hearing each other that communication techniques will solve the problem. But that’s like putting a band-aide on a bruise. It’s the wrong solution.

Communication techniques can help colleagues transmit INFORMATION clearly. Communication techniques belong in seminars that teach negotiation and sales. But you’re not trying to complete a transaction with your spouse; you’re trying to renew a relationship. I can almost guarantee you that your problem is not clarity; it’s concern. Ironically, communication techniques sometimes give people clarity that they don’t care what their spouse thinks or feels. They “got it,” but “it” doesn’t matter to them anymore.

How do you get back to the place where you and your spouse care again?

This is one of the things that’s unique about the Marriage Fitness approach to repairing a relationship versus traditional counseling. Most approaches to marriage success preach communication skills. But communicating effectively will NOT create love in your marriage. In fact, the correlation is the opposite. Creating love in your marriage paves the way for effective communication. I’ll prove it to you.

Think about when you fell in love. How was your communication? Good, right? In fact, when you’re in love, you communicate with the wink of an eye and you can finish each other’s sentences. And yet you haven’t known each other that long and you haven’t learned any communication techniques.

Then, years later, after getting to know each other inside and out, employing psychologically tested and proven communication strategies, and taking into account all the differences between Mars and Venus, you can’t get through to each other.

Listen carefully: Communication has very little to do with techniques or knowledge of each other. It has everything to do with the depth of connection between the communicators.

The question you should be asking is NOT, “How do I communicate effectively with my spouse.” The question you should be asking is, “How do I connect with my spouse again?” Once you reconnect, you won’t be sitting in silence in the basement. You’ll hear the sound of the pipes from above. It’ll be your spouse. You were heard.

Mort Fertel
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

For Free Marriage Advice, go to http://www.marriagemax.com/

Save your marriage

MARRIAGE FITNESS is a revolutionary program that will save your marriage. It is an alternative to marriage counseling and can help marriages suffering from emotional abuse, infidelity, broken trust, lack of appreciation and many more. The Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp will give  you a step by step guide to reconciling your marriage.

www.marriagemax.com